Getting Full On Parents, Instead of Food

This article by Arleta James is priceless for families!  As an adoptive parent, their have been times that I feel overwhelmed and patient-less.  This article makes sense... This is a must read!


Getting Full On Parents, Instead of Food

By Arleta James, PCC

The traumatized adoptee’s preoccupation with food starts in infancy. The child in residence in an orphanage sucks on a propped bottle, or holds a bottle of her own within a few months of being born. The same is true of American adoptees who—pre-adoption—resided in neglectful birth homes. Food was the companion, rather than a nurturing parent who held the bottle, and simultaneously soothed the baby with kind, loving words or a lullaby.

Certainly, the background histories of many children adopted from the foster care system are replete with statements about the lack of food available in the birth home at the time the child was removed. Older children can recall having to seek their own food,

Paul and Michael, now 12 and 14, respectively, resided in a birth home (until the ages of 4 and 6) in which both birth parents abused drugs and alcohol. Michael clearly remembers going to a neighbor’s home and asking for food. Kindly, this woman would provide sandwiches, milk, and cookies. Ultimately, her reports to children services helped these children enter foster care. Michael recently stated, “I would like to go back and thank her sometime. I don’t know what we would have eaten if it weren’t for her.”

Children who enter foreign institutions, at older ages, offer stories about foraging through garbage for food remains. International and domestic adoptees share many of the same traumas.

Read More: